MARRIED LADIES!

This one is for all the married women out there. The ones who found a man and locked his no good ass down. The women who think, “OK I’m married, no more having to sexually pleasure him” WRONG-O!

This is going to be a tough one for you ladies to swallow (fuck, i meant every bit of that pun!). You’re married now, you won the great life race. Now you’re a year or two into this and suddenly that hard working, do anything to make you smile, loving man is a grouchy sack of shit who doesn’t want to do shit, but fantasize about fucking Victoria’s secret models. Want to know why?

YOU ARE NOT FUCKING HIM ENOUGH!

I love to burst your self empowered bubble, so here it is- denying a man six days a week and then on the seventh letting out a heavy sigh, turning over, and letting him snake punch your clown box, ain’t gonna fucking cut it.

Just like you delicate little fucking flowers, like it or not, men need to feel fucking powerful. I’m talking neanderthal club a girl over the head, drag her to his cave, fucking savage. I know what you’re thinking right now” T.T. (That’s Tattle Turtle for you fuck toys under a rock) how can I let my man feel this primal savagery?” Simple, when your man slips his hand under that blanket and feels his way up to squish box, yank those fucking bloomers down and let him fucking have it! Let him take you to fucking pound town! Let him be the savage animal God intended him to be! I know, I know, you’re hesitant, well sack up and hear me out.

This is a win fucking win. You want the man you married? well he wants the sexual deviant he dropped on one knee for! You get your hard working, “look how much he fucking loves me”, man  back and he gets some god damned fuzz box!! That’s all we want ladies!! To work our asses off, crack a brew, and get fucked at the end of the night!

So let’s sum this shit up,

Quit acting like withholding sex is making you feel powerful or in control. You’re fucking lying! So suck it up, yes ladies I mean literally, and let everyone be fucking happy.

 

You know where the comments are, so tell it to the Tattle Turtle you fucking shrew!

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