The “Incels”

Ladies, we all love them, men dedicate their entire lives pining for the attention and affections of these beautiful creatures. Sometimes, however, a woman will deny the advances of a male suiter and this will often leave that man feeling bad or used. Even less often than that, a man will feel so bad and so used that he will do something cosmically stupid, something so stupid it gains the attention of a certain turtle. That’s right guys, it’s your turn, so get your hands off your little rotten peckers and buckle up!

Recently I read a story about a subreddit being banned, this particular subreddit was dedicated to men who had trouble garnishing the affections of the opposite sex, so instead of taking a look at themselves in the mirror and trying to figure out what it was they were doing wrong, this sloth like group of sewer mutants turned, of course, to the internet, where they created a safe haven for “Good Guys” everywhere. These were the men that women would spend their whole lives trying to find and they were pissed that they weren’t found. This group of self-proclaimed white knights was known as, “The Incels.”
Incels, also known as the “Involuntarily celibate,” is full to the brim with fedoras, anime, and most importantly, how much women suck for not realizing how great they are. These men spend all day in a forum, with other men, doing absolutely nothing but talking about how all girls are shitty, users, whores, and will die alone if they don’t marry one of these pud pullers.

Let’s dissect this one at a time.

All women are just plain shitty.

According to these knob goblins, women are shitty because they refuse to recognize, just how amazing these men are. I mean seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you women that you don’t go for the fat guy with a bad beard who talks about Naruto all day, you mean to tell me you don’t want the woman hater? Of course, you don’t, no person on the planet would go for that twenty years old but looks fucking sixty-five, lives in his mother’s basement, jacking it to hentai all day, type of mouth breather.


Oh and of course, all women are users.

They just want their money, or they just want them to do favors for them, and then they have the audacity to say no when these dick hammers ask for a hand job or a tit pic. Let me drop the sarcasm for a second and get real with you kids, first off, you willingly do these things for those supposed users, you of your own volition give them a ride or pay a bill for them, you do this all on your own. Second, you do these things, for one reason and one reason only, because you’re trying to earn enough brownie points to drop your fucking pleated trousers and have her touch your dick cheese riddled meat stick. That, my dear little shit bangers, would make YOU the user. You are using these women in a far worse way than you claim to be being used.
My personal favorite here, all women are whores.

Oh, fist fucking Christ! When you little knuckle children said this did it even sound right to you? “That bitch won’t fuck me, she must be a fucking whore!” No, really let that sink all the fucking way in. Let me just clear up the obvious confusion here, a whore is a person, no not just female, who will fuck anyone. They will fuck for fun, cash, favors, and just about any other reason you can think of. A whore would never dream of denying you little panty sniffers.


All women will die alone.

If they don’t acknowledge the white knight that you clearly are, and marry you. You nailed it fuck wads, you are clearly the pinnacle of all things man. You are chivalrous and gallant, righteous and pure. You would never treat a lady like a common piece of street trash, except of course, if that woman disagrees with you, then the whore can rot in the gutter.

Do I have all that right?

Are you getting the problem here?
Now as if all of this wasn’t bad enough, these butt touchers went ahead and took it several steps further. Before they were banned, these fedora wearing fucks, decided that the entire world would be better off  if all women were not allowed to say no, they could no longer deny men like themselves and more than that, they would “fear” them. I honestly feel like I need to bathe in a smegma filled toilet after typing that, just to remember that something is filthier than what these maggots believe. These “Gentlemen” are seriously in the mindset that women should just fuck them at will, because they want them too.

I’m going to go ahead and wrap this up before you anime loving ass clowns get the wrong idea and think uncle T.T. is trying to play touch, touch, fuck. 

It’s simple nut knobs, no woman, no man, no fucking animal on this god forsaken planet is ever going to even consider you a sexual being, so long as this is your outlook on them, and your reaction to rejection. T.T. is going to give you a freebie here and lay down some words of turtle goodness on you. Get up, close your electronic device, and walk into the bathroom. Once you get there, stare into the mirror and really look at yourself, ask yourself the dirty, gritty, and downright scary questions, and be honest with yourself. The problem is not the women, it’s not the world, it’s you. You’re downright fucking creepy. All is not lost though, you can still change your horrible ways, step back into T.T.’s good graces and rejoin the civilized world.

The bottom line kids? pull a buffalo bill on yourself tonight(see Silence of the Lambs).

Would you fuck you? I didn’t think so.
Got a deep seeded love for fedoras? Mad that I bashed on hentai? Sack up and tell it to the fucking turtle below, he’s the only one man enough to rock that stupid hat anyway.


3 thoughts on “The “Incels”

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