Oh boy kids, today’s topic is sincerely outlandish, even by turtle standards, yet here we are anyway. Today, we are going to talk about race. Calm your little P.C. nut bag. We are going to talk about race in today’s entertainment outlets. That’s right kids, The Turtle is letting every color get equal time! Strap in and get ready for take off.
Have you ever seen a little-known show called “The Simpsons”? Of course, you have. This is a cartoon, set in a fictional town, depicting fictional characters, almost all of whom are yellow and only mildly represent an actual human being. Now, I’m sure you know of the store owner, known as, Apu. Apu, is vaguely Indian-ish. Like every character on the show, he is wildly over the top and a stereotype that is dialed up to eleven. Sound hysterical? That’s because it is. However, some overly P.C. cock eyed, ass bags. Have decided that this depiction is offensive, and he should be removed from the show. Now, bear in mind, this is a twenty-five-year-old show, spanning twenty-nine seasons. This show has been on longer than most of these P.C. ding dongs have been alive! The Turtle, is a reasonable being, and can certainly see how this might be “Racially Insensitive” to some, but being the fair being that I am, I think it’s only fair, that if we remove one racially insensitive character we must remove all of them. You know, just to create a level playing field.
Let’s start with the Asian community. How many shows or movies have you seen where an Asian person is depicted as the “Hero,” or as just a regular joe in general, and no, anime and movies made outside the U.S.A don’t count. I bet you’re having a pretty hard time coming up with anything right about now. In most movies and T.V. shows, Asian people are depicted in a couple of ways. They can be, the wise cracking, thick over the top accent having sidekick, who does little more than provide comedic relief and get in the way. Maybe, they are, the brains, able to solve math problems in a single glance, sitting behind a computer, and never getting the girl. In some cases, they are the silent companion, who, obviously, knows some form of deadly martial arts and saves the heroes ass on a constant basis but gets absolutely zero credit, and again no girl. Teen shows and movies, maybe that’s your thing. Well you’re in luck, here, the Asian community is put out as a rebellious teen and stern, borderline dictator, parents who care for little else other than education and getting into the best schools.
Let’s just move right on down the line, to the Black Community. New question kids, go on and name one movie or T.V. show, where a black character is someone who comes from a non-violent past, one where the topic surrounding their character isn’t redemption of some kind, or maybe one where they don’t have to endure some kind of personal tragedy. Having a hard time, again aren’t you? More often than not, black people are portrayed as, the down and out kid from the wrong side of the tracks that someone takes a personal interest in. Maybe, they can be, the funny, wise cracking, “You can’t say that” side kick. How about, the kid from the “Hood” who rises up, trying to overcome their upbringing.
Starting to get the picture here? Let’s move on.
White folks, this should be fun. Now here it gets a little tricky and harder to see, but don’t worry, T.T. is here to light the way. The Turtle will agree here that white people, more often than not, are, “The Hero” or the guy who gets the girl. However, they are not exempt from “Racial Insensitivity,” go on and think of one depiction of a white person by some one of another race, that is not immediately, degrading, insulting, or over the top. Struggling again aren’t you? See, here, we encounter a different kind of “Racial Insensitivity.” I’m going to use an example that most of you should understand, remember, “White Chicks?” Hilarious movie, of two black men, having to dress up as two white women, and throughout the film, they carry out a number of over the top stereotypes that are associated with white people. Remember the dancing scene?
“T.T. what’s so wrong with that? It was funny, right?”
Handsome question reader, why don’t we take a look at it.
Take that same movie, but instead of two black guys, it’s two white guys, and now they have to dress up as two black women. Let’s call this fictional movie, “Black Chicks.” Throughout the movie these two men dressed in black drag, are going to carry out a number of black stereotypes. Pretty pissed, aren’t you? See the problem?
Moving on to, The Native American community. I’m going to make this one easy for you, name one movie that has a main character who is native American. You can’t, we both know you can’t. The only time you get to see Native Americans on screen, is when they are wearing some crazy traditional outfit and smoking a pipe, that’s it. There is no other portrayal of them, literally, none.
So, why are we discussing all this, why has The Turtle outlined every ounce of “Racial Insensitivity?” Simple, to once again, show you kids, that the world is as equal as it gets. You want to ban Apu? The Turtle will back you up, so long as you get rid of every other racial stereotype out there. The point, is that people have become so overly P.C. that they will over analyze, just about everything, until they find something that suits their narrative. This, is what the problem is. Stop looking for things to be wrong, or insensitive, or offensive, it’s always there and it’s often times hilarious.
Let’s Wrap this up kids.
Offensive stuff is funny, let’s face it, over the top, insane characterizations of people is hilarious. You wouldn’t be here reading this if it wasn’t. These stereotypes, that you want gone forever, are the most equal thing this world has. Everyone gets time under the spotlight of racial stereotypes. I can understand wanting to see more “Heroes” of your particular heritage, but, trying to remove something that you deem as “insensitive” is not the way to do it. Stand up and create a person you want to represent you, stop tearing other people’s creations down, in the hopes that it garnishes you some attention, it won’t. Understand, that if you want equality, you need to make it, not destroy it and claim its for equality! And for the love of god, can we get some Native American characters, they don’t all wear eagle feathers and smoke peace pipes!
Don’t like my depiction of race? Want to tell me how insensitive I am? Crawl on down below and tell it to the rainbow colored fucking turtle.